Captain’s Day

Blockbuster Station is geared up to welcome the new and highly anticipated captain onboard. Celebrations have commenced all over, including banners, signs, and restaurant items. No ones really sure who put them up though. Oh well, happy Captain’s Day!

Transcript

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Weightless in space, is the head that wears the crown still weighed down. Welcome to Blockbuster Station.

We have finally been assigned a new captain by the Dupellian government and  office of the aligned systems. They are due to arrive very soon, and everyone on Blockbuster Station has really rolled out the red carpet to greet them.

As such, you may notice some festive touches around the station. So far I’ve seen special Captain themed meals available at several of the eateries in the dining quarter. One of them was shaped like a hat! I’m not really sure why but I want to eat that hat so it’s working. 

The cultural center has listed several captain related activities to participate in today too. There’s an historic reading all about captainhood in the Dupellian fleets taking place in one of the theatres - they recommend you bring wet weather gear. A reenactment of the opening of the station is also scheduled, so again, wet weather gear is recommended. And they say they’ll be playing captain based tunes all day. Again, not too sure what that means but it sure does sound… captainy.

Down in the flower gardens at the cultivation centre, they have triggered a meadow into bloom so that the flowers read ‘Welcome Captain’. This sentiment can be seen echoed less impressively all around the station by way of more primitive decorations. Regardless of their expertise in expressing it, it seems everyone is excited to see a Captain onboard Blockbuster Station once more. 

But it also seems like no one knows anything about who this captain is. No names are mentioned, previous postings, not even hobbies. Nothing even slightly specific, to give us insight into the person they are. Should I be reading more into that captains hat menu item? I guess I should try it, for research.

We’ve had several listeners request an update on the flashing lights in the residential quarter on deck 3. The ones that were appearing randomly in the corridors, appearing to lead people to no where.

I have been in touch with the Electrical Enginering Department and they explained there haven’t been any more sightings in quite a while. The incident with the cybernetic implant was one of the last reports of the occurrences. The electrical engineering department isn’t sure why, but by all accounts, it seems the lights have stopped.

All residents surveyed since have said the lights in the area have been acting normally, with no signs of odd flashing in the distance. None reported having any feelings of confusion, nor any sense of sadness from the illumination system. They said the lights were behaving normally, and felt as friendly and helpful as always.

Scans on the cybernetic implant did reveal some sort of sound wave coming from the lights, which tracks with the owner’s own report of what happened. Unfortunately for now, it just appears to be distortion. The Electrical Engineering Department seem convinced there’s more to it, but explained that without knowing what they’re looking for, to listen to, isolate, or even begin to understand, it’s just noise. 

They were hoping to get more samples to help with the investigation but with the lights sudden bout of shyness, we might just have to wait. The Electrical Engineering Department assured me they’d relay any new updates to me if they get any - and I’ll do the same for you. Until then, we ask all travellers to be especially polite to any and all lights they encounter on their stay.

Captain’s day celebrations… is that what we’re calling it? Ok. Captain’s day celebrations continue to escalate as more decorations and pageantry are displayed around the station. Banners and signs have started being plastered around the station corridors and common areas. ‘Welcome Captain’ and ‘happy Captain’s day’ … captains day? are common themes and messages.

Ok Blockbuster Station. I have just triple checked the Dupellian history logs and we absolutely don’t have a captains day. There’s not even mention of a celebration aside from the general proceedings to place a captain in charge. It’s mostly paperwork and pins, not station wide banners. I’m by no means against the festive attitude, but I just needed to know that this wasn’t already a thing. Where did all these signs come from so quickly?

The ships automated systems have all been altered with captain’s day greetings and sign offs so don’t be surprised when you get a bright ‘Thank you, have a great captain’s day’ at the end of your interactions with our computers. Some have been reported to say yarrr instead of yes, but we are unsure as to why. 

More restaraunts have joined in with captains specials, and the restaurant quarter is now completely decorated with signs and streamers. The display boards are pulsing with Captains day messages, specials, and discounts. There are three more hat related meals. None of them seem to know why, and they’re just all shaped like completely different hats. Though I will say I the captain’s fez flan is a straight up cop out. I do like flan though. How many hats can I eat?

Those tuned in via telepathic means, will want to pay special attention to this advisory. Those who aren’t, can feel free to zone out for a few moments. However, the more you think about the advisory, the more telepaths are likely to hear about it, and every little bit always helps.

The Astronomy department here with us on Deck 1 wants to advise all staying on Blockbuster Station that radiation emitted by a passing asteroid cluster may interfere with telepathic communications. 

One of our long range probes picked up the asteroids months ago, but as their tragectory placed them far enough away not to reallly worry about, the astronomy department didn’t.

Two days ago, a small trading ship that passed closer to the cluster arrived on the station. They reported issues with their telepathic interfaces ship wide, and when examined they contained traces of what the scientists are calling, ‘funky radiation’. Reportedly because they’re not really sure what it does, but the patterns it makes on the reader are a real vibe.

As the radiation disperses, there appears to be no damage to the equipment, or life forms exposed, but this is early days and there are no guarantees. We will continue to monitor for any signs of long funky in those exposed. 

The waves of radiation are set to reach us in about 3 days, and efforts are being taken to dampen the effect. We are also much farther away than the ship was, as well as having better shields so the strength of any effects should be much weaker, and may not even be felt at all. However we are advising everyone to turn their telepathic devices off for the duration of the event while a focus mantra will be held for telepaths in the residential quarter on Deck 3. Focus on the following sequence to receive directions and other information in a compressed thought.

A cat’s eye marble, the violet of a sunset silhouette, clouds, grass prickling your legs, a door from your childhood, you know, the one you weren’t supposed to open. The one that you hoped was just a dream? Reach out with your mind and slowly, slowly, push open the door.

This information is available to all who request it, however we recommend avoiding it for anyone not born with telepathic abilities, those focus mantras can get pretty weird.

We will provide updates on further predictions and more exact timing of the event when we have them. In the meantime, check in with the Astronomy department by the observation centre on Deck 1 if you have further questions.

Lunch time

Wow. I have just had a bunch of dishes delivered to my desk, all of which are shaped like hats. I wouldn’t normally eat while broadcasting, but as these are limited menu items for captain’s day, they might not be around for very long. Being able to review each one for you live now, might help you make better informed choices. As a trained live transmission journalist, I can attempt to imbue my words with as much of the flavour as possible, though of course it can only represent how I taste it. But for those of us with palettes aligned, I’m going to take a bite out of each of these hats so that you don’t have to.

First up, we have the Captain’s Cap special from the Dupellian restaurant MCHammers. They have shaped some nicely steamed grains into a dome, as is not uncommon but have added a large curved fried savoury wafer protruding from it, like the brim of a cap. It looks a bit more like a bird’s bill, but still a valiant effort. Around the edge of the rice are sliced proteins in a heavy sweet sauce that, judging from the smell, tangs at the end. Just like a cap would have. Using the brim wafer to scoop together protein, sauce, and grains, I snap off a bite.

My teeth push the grains apart, more than they do break them. Segmenting them into what is to be eaten now, and in a few moments. This forces some to push against the top of my lip and I can feel a cool, creamy texture, which is interrupted as my teeth hit the hard wafer. At the crack of the crunch, the tiny explosive force pushes scents of spices and starch to the back of my throat and when I close my mouth completely the flavours and textures are all forced together. There’s a sudden explosion from the heavy sweet sauce as it finds its way to tongue, adding contrast by way of both flavour and it’s warmer temperature. Each bite mashes these themes together until they are indistinguishable , and thusly swallowed.

Mmmm not bad at all! Nice and simple but has good flavours. A very acceptable lunch, thanks MCHammers!

I am being told that we certainly don’t have time for anymore of that nonsense, which I have to admit is fair enough. I will continue to keep eating these dishes and thinking about them intensely during this transmission so you all can still vicariously experience them.

Oh, I’m being told the REASON we don’t have time for that is because the Captain has finally arrived on Blockbuster Station. Sources say the Captain arrived in secret for security reasons, and has already been escorted straight to their office on the bridge. Only a select few has seen, whoever they are, but we have been assured there will be an official welcome announcement soon, given by this mystery captain.

People all over the station are reporting a slight drop in the overall mood. It’s no surprise. There was a small crowd gathering in the arrivals area, ready to welcome aboard the new captain who have all been waiting for nothing now. All the signage somehow seems, less bright, less festive, maybe a little wonky? The lights feel a little sad.

Grand Thark, owner and proprietor of Grand Thank’s Biplackian restaurant, has put a special Captain’s Boot item on his menu. Those in the dining quarter just moments ago report seeing Grand Thark himself, adding the item to the large menuboard. According to his mutterings it is a response to the newer Diplackian restaurant, Fancy Snork’s adding a Captain’s Hat item that I should probably try. When asked, Grand Thark explained “Snork’s added a hat item, sneakily when we were just about to. If Diplacks are selling hats, then we have to do something different. Everyone is selling hats, but only at Grand Thark’s can you get a true taste of captain’s boot!” He proclaimed, proudly “Captain’s got feet right? Grand Tharks, where food is home.”

I mean, the new Captain probably does have feet but given we haven’t seen them yet we can’t know for sure. Still eating captain’s boot certainly feels like a dip in celebrations. 

A new message incoming from the bridge says the captain’s personal appearance has been delayed. The new captain has been stuck in their office signing forms. Apparently many of these forms must be signed before a welcome message can even be approved. Furthermore, without certain forms signed all the captain’s day decorations have technically been illegal vandalism, but no one is sure who put them up so not much can be done about it.

Graffiti is art. However, graffiti as an act of vandalism is a crime. Every station/port has vandalism laws that apply to graffiti, and local entities such as cities and countries have anti-graffiti ordinances. Violation of these laws can result in a fine, probation, or a jail sentence. Blockbuster Station does not condone the real life act of vandalism in any form, unless it’s irrefutably sick. 

Lame taggers can expect to be prosecuted to the full extent of the law — which on Blockbuster Station would have you on cleaning duty while people gather to mock your lame tag but praise your cleaning abilities.

As the decorations are somehow, already all gone, that process seems to have taken care of itself anyway. Even the computers have stopped wishing people a happy captain’s day, so it seems the festivities are well and truly over, and that’s without even hearing from the captain. 

Once the red tape is all cleared up I’m sure the captain will make a full appearance to appraise us of their direction for Blockbuster Station. Until then, stay tuned for the melodic multi-tones of the community amoeba throat singing choir, no throat required.